The first is Smurf Sex: This happens during the honeymoon period of a relationship, you keep doing it until you're blue in the face.
The second is Kitchen Sex: This is at the beginning of your marriage, you'll have sex anywhere, any time, any place, even in the kitchen.
The third kind is Bedroom Sex: You've calmed down a bit by then, perhaps you have had some kids, so you have to do it in the bedroom.
The fourth kind is Hallway Sex: This is where you pass each other in the hallway, look each other in the eye and say, "F**K YOU!"
The Fifth is Courtroom Sex: This is when you get divorced, and your wife screws you in front of everyone in the room.