You never listen to me

-I go for bread.

-I love you too.

-In reality I leaving you because you never listen to me.

-Bring bread.

My Wife doesn't talk to Me

 -I'm going to divorce my wife.

-But... why?

-She has not been talking to me for many weeks.

-Think it twice, a woman like that is difficult to find.

Free Trial Period

 

Reason for Crying

 

Via 9gag

Spiderman Spiderwoman

 

Everything that your Wife tells You

 -Do you do everything that your wife tells you?

-No.

-Very good, a man is a man.

-I don't have time to do everything.

If Men are agreeing with You

 

My Husband doesn't talk to Me

 

-My husband doesn't talk to me.

-Have you tried to shut up?

 

Sacred Books

 The Bible and the Quran, both tell us to love each other.

The Kama Sutra is a little more specific.

Darling, are You Happy?

 - Darling, are you happy?

- Just sign the papers!

 

Men You are all the Same

 - Men, you are all the same.

- Excuse me madam, ¿who are you?

- Sorry, I confused you with my husband.

 

Wrong Person, Moment, and Place

 You are the wrong person that arrived at the wrong moment and in the wrong place. Chances that I fall in love with you are very high.

 

The App that Trains You on Cunnilingus

Via Youtube

You will never ever

-You will never find someone like me.

          -I hope so.

Difficult to Understand

-Mummy, why did you marry dady?
-You see Dave, not even our son understands it.

Just answer the Question

I Like You

I like you, but as a friend... of somebody else who I never ever going to see in my life.

That's the attitude

-The less you know of me, the better.
-Who the hell are you?

 

Power of Conviction

I just convinced my wife to go on holidays where she wanted.

Don't Lose Hope

-¿Are you in love with me?
-Of course not.
-So, don't lose hope.