Not the Whole World

Sometimes I think the whole world is against me, but I know this is not true. Some small countries are neutral.

Before I do Anything

Before I do anything, I ask myself "Would an idiot do that?" And if the answer is yes, I do not do that thing.

What we Are?

- What we are? - A matter of time.

Somewhere in this World

Somewhere in this world there is one person who is perfect for you, and you'll almost certainly never meet.

Let her go out Drinking with her Friends

If you love her, let her go out drinking with her friends... If she calls you when she is drunk, she is yours. If she turns off her phone, she never was.

Everything happens for a Reason

Everything happens for a reason, but sometimes things happen because you're stupid and make bad decisions.

Great Listener

I've been told by several women that I'm a great listener. Most of them have huge boobs.

Avoiding Making Friends

Avoid making friends by being honest with people.

That Part of the Bible

My favorite part of the bible is when God gives humans free will, then kills them with a flood because they didn't act the way he wanted.

-@Fuckipedia  

That's for Sure

If cats could talk, they would lie to you.

Newton third Law of Emotion

For every male action there is a female overreaction.

On Laughing

The one who laughs last is the slowest.
The one who laughs first has the dirtiest mind.

If you know what I mean...

Before you Marry Someone

Before you marry a person you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.

- Peter Klesken

Philosophy, Beer and Women

If beer and women aren't the answer, then you are asking the wrong question.

Sad Reality

If the person is ugly, you call them a stalker. If the person is good-looking, you call them a secret admirer.

Common Sense is like Deodorant

Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.

Get used to It

Life is a bitch, stop complaining and get used to it.

Priorities First

Before we work on artificial intelligence, why we don't do something about natural stupidity?

Expectations

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting she won't change, but she does.

Two Types of Economy

There are two types of economy. One is buying a bigger TV, and the other is getting the sofa closer.