The Esquimo and the Priest

Esquimo: "If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell?"

Priest: "No. Not if you didn't know."

Esquimo: "Then, why did you tell me?"

Success is Like...

Success is like pregnancy. Everybody congratulates you, but nobody knows how many times you got fucked to achieve it.

On the back Cover of Banksy's Book

This quote is on the back cover of Banksy's book.

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Sex Talk

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What a Coincidence

A chicken farmer went to a local pub, sat next to a woman and ordered a glass of champagne.

The woman perked up and said, 'How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!'

'What a coincidence,' the farmer said. 'This is a special day for me, I am celebrating.'

'This is a special day for me too, I am also celebrating!' said the woman.

'What a coincidence!' said the farmer. As they clinked glasses the man asked, 'What are you celebrating?'

'My husband and I have been trying to have a child for a long time, and today, at last, my gynaecologist told me that I am pregnant!'

'What a coincidence,' said the man. 'I'm a chicken farmer and for months all of my hens seemed infertile, but today they are all laying fertilized eggs.'

'That's great!' said the woman. 'How did your chickens become fertile?

'I used a different cock,' he replied.

The woman smiled and said, 'What a coincidence.'

Written in a Wall of an Irish Pub

At an Irish wedding reception someone yelled...
"Would all the married men, please stand next to the person who has made your life worth living."
The bartender was almost crushed to death.

Cooking with Wine for the first Time

Last night I tried cooking with wine for the first time. After 5 glasses I forgot Why I was in the kitchen.