Great Listener

I've been told by several women that I'm a great listener. Most of them have huge boobs.

Hello? Is it Beer...

Via Pinterest

Flowers and Rice

A man is putting some flowers on the grave of a loved one, when he sees a Japanese guy who is placing a bowl of rice in a nearby grave. The man approaches the Japanese and ask him:
- "Excuse me, don't take me wrong but... Do you really think that your loved one is going to come to eat the rice?
- "Yes", said the Japanese... "When yours comes to smell the flowers."

Push to Open

 Via Retailhellunderground

Avoiding Making Friends

Avoid making friends by being honest with people.

Time to Wake Up

The frozen Pond

On a wet and frosty afternoon, two kids were iceskating on a frozen pond. Suddenly the ice breaks under one of them and he is swallowed beneath. The other kid grabs a stone and starts to hit the ice vigorously until he was able to break it and take his friend out.
When the local police arrived to the place and saw what just had happened, could not avoid asking: "How come he was able to break the thick ice with such a small stone and his little hands... it's impossible!"
In that moment an old man came along and said: "I know how the kid was able to do it"
"How?" -Asked the police.
"There was noboby around to tell him that he coudn't do it." -Said the old man.