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The dead Donkey

A man bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100. But the next day the farmer called the man and said:
-"I am really sorry, but the donkey died."
-"Ok, in that case give me the money back."
-"I can't do that. I've already spent it," replied the farmer.
-"Ok then, give me the dead donkey."
-"What are you going to do with a dead donkey?" exclaimed the farmer.
-"I'm going to raffle him off."
A month later the farmer met up with the guy and asked him about what happened with the dead donkey. "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at $2 each, and made a profit of $898." -Said the man.
-"Didn't no one complain?" asked the farmer.
-"Just the guy who won. So I gave him his $2 back."

Everything happens for a Reason

Everything happens for a reason, but sometimes things happen because you're stupid and make bad decisions.

Depressing Ad for an Italian Liqueur

Via Simplepimple

Great Listener

I've been told by several women that I'm a great listener. Most of them have huge boobs.

Hello? Is it Beer...

Via Pinterest

Flowers and Rice

A man is putting some flowers on the grave of a loved one, when he sees a Japanese guy who is placing a bowl of rice in a nearby grave. The man approaches the Japanese and ask him:
- "Excuse me, don't take me wrong but... Do you really think that your loved one is going to come to eat the rice?
- "Yes", said the Japanese... "When yours comes to smell the flowers."