Doctor Doctor

-Doctor, nobody understands me.
    -What do you mean by that?
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-Doctor, nobody believes me.
    -Tell me the truth, what's your real problem?
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-Doctor, I have the feeling of being like a bell.
    -Go home, if the feeling persist give me a ring.
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-Doctor, I feel like people is not interested in anything I say.
    -So?
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-Doctor, I feel like a spoon.
    -Sit there and don't stir.
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-Doctor, people tell me that I am like a wheelbarrow.
    -Don't let them push you around.

What's it all About?

Via Maicol Ospina

Priceless Photo Radar

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A Man called Incredible

A couple had a child and called him "Incredible", because they thought he would do incredible things in his life. But the truth is that, far from being so, Incredible had a very dull and quiet life. He got married and was faithful to his wife during 60 years.
His friends always made fun of him because his name didn't match his lifestyle. So, before he died, he asked his wife not to write his name in the gravestone, in order to avoid further jokes after his death.
When he finally died, the wife followed his instructions, and just wrote on the gravestone: "Here lies a man who was faithful to his wife for 60 years."
When people passed by his tomb and read the epitaph, they said: "Incredible!"

Before I do Anything

Before I do anything, I ask myself "Would an idiot do that?" And if the answer is yes, I do not do that thing.

Just Men

- Mom, what's a nymphomaniac?
- A female addicted to sex.
- Ok, but what they call men addicted to sex?
- Men.

Just a Man Seeking Advise

Dear Abbey,

I've never written to you before, but I really need your advice.
I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs like... the phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up.
My wife has been going out with "the girls" a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says: "Just some friends from work, you don't know them."
I always try to stay awake to look out for her coming home, but I usually fall asleep.
Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just didn't want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her.
Around midnight, I decided to hide in the garage behind my Harley Davidson so I could get a good view of the whole street when she arrived home from a night out with "the girls". When she got out of the car she was buttoning up her blouse, which was open, and she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on.
It was at that moment, crouching behind my clubs, that I noticed that the valve covers on my engine seemed to leak out a bit of oil.
Can I fix this myself or should I take it to the dealer?