A PERFECT WORLD (IN THE MIND OF MEN)

1. Any phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward the call to her real number.

2. Nodding and looking at your watch would be an acceptable response to "I love you"

3. Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards.

4. When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she would appear in a little box in the corner in the screen during a time-out.

5. "Sorry, I am late, but I got really wasted last night" would be an acceptable excuse for beeing late.

6. When a cop gave you a ticket, every smart-aleck answer you responded with, would actually reduce your fine. For example: Cop: "You know how fast you were going?" You: "All I know is, I was spilling my beer all over the place". Cop: "That's a good one. Let's make it $10 less"

7. Garbage woult take itself out.

8. St. Patrick's day would be celebrated every month.

9. There would be a device that automatically raised and lowered toilet seats.