PECULIAR MESSAGES FROM ANSWERING MACHINES

Hi, this is George. I’m sorry I can’t answer the phone right now. Leave a message and then wait by your phone until I call you back.

Hello. I am David’s answering machine. What are you?

Hi, this is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn’t lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don’t worry, I have plenty of money.

Hi, I’m not home right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep.
Hello! If you leave a message, I”ll call you soon. If you leave a sexy message, I’ll call sooner.

Hi, John’s answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator…. Please speak very slowly while I write down the message and I’ll stick it to myself with one of these magnets.

Hi. I am probably home, I’m just avoiding someone I don’t like. Leave a message and if I don’t call back, it’s you.

Hello, you’ve reached Nick and Kate. We can’t pick up the phone right now, because we’re doing something we really enjoy. Carol likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right… real slowly. So leave a message and when we’re done brushing our teeth we’ll get back to you.