Different Versions of "If you love Somebody..."

If you love someone, Set her free...
If she comes back, she's yours,
If she doesn't, she never was....

But... Let's see other versions of this. According to the pessimist, the optimist, the suspicious, the impatient and the paranoid.

Pessimist:
If you love someone, Set her free...
If she ever comes back, she's yours,
If she doesn't, as expected, she never was...

Optimist:
If you love someone, Set her free...
Don't worry, she will come back.

Suspicious:
If you love someone, Set her free...
If she ever comes back, ask her why.

Impatient:
If you love someone, Set her free...
If she doesn't come back within 5 minutes, forget her.

Paranoid:
If you love someone,
When you let her go, she'll be out to get you.